2023 – Don’t be angry with me.

Yesterday remains one of the most gentle and enjoyable movies of 2019. The musical romantic comedy stars Himesh Patel as struggling musician Jack Malik who suddenly wakes up to find himself in a parallel universe where he is the only person who can remember The Beatles. And he becomes famous for performing their songs, even with a little bit of help from Ed Sheeran.

That Ed Sheeran. Such a talent. He sings love songs to the Queen and even watches live test cricket. What’s not to like. And let’s face it, anyone who can survive that debut album (Plus+) and make good, deserves every accolade he gets.  

So, when I woke up in 2023 to discover that The Beatles had the #1 single Then and Now and The Rolling Stones had the #1 album with Hackney Diamonds (in vinyl nogal), you’ll forgive me thinking that I was also in a parallel universe. Sadly, in my 2023 universe there was no Lily James but Lady Gaga was a delicious substitute. Watching Tannie Gogo out strutting Mick Jagger on Sweet Sounds of Heaven was divine.  

And speaking of divine, Hanoi Jane still knows all the moves whether she’s touching Robert Redford and Our souls at Night, or just being amazing Grace in Grace and Frankie.

What’s with up The Rolling Stones though? What ever happened to proper lyrics like …

Under my thumb, The girl who once had me down, Under my thumb, The girl who once pushed me around

I mean, what’s with all this Don’t get angry with me and Why you bite my head off? Geez, just how old are these okes anyway?

Speaking of parallel universes, binge watching all 3 seasons of the Star Trek: The Original Series was without doubt the best TV viewing of 2023. Of course, I say TV viewing but not it’s TV viewing as we know it. In 2023, Donald Trump’s wig had more chance of surviving a ride across the Mojave desert on the back of Maverick’s Kawasaki Ninja H2 in Top Gun Maverick, than Star Trek: The Original Series has of getting an award for DEI at the Woke Oscars.  

Speaking of outrageous hair, appalling dress sense and a complete disregard for prescribed gender convention, how was that The Barbie Movie? Not even Tannie Evita Bezuidenhout could be that inappropriate.

The highlight of Star Trek: The Original Series and indeed the highlight of the entire year’s TV viewing in 2023, was without doubt Episode 22 of the 3rd Season. The Savage Curtain. The climax of the episode features Capt. Kirk, Spock and Abraham Lincoln fighting for the survival of good over evil against the cohorts of Genghis Khan, using nothing but pointed sticks. Fabulous entertainment. Nothing in the Star Trek franchise has come close to that dramatic high point in over 50 years.

Makes me think. What about Margot Robbie in her Barbie outfit and Jane Fonda as Barbarella fighting off the forces of evil with nothing but pointed sticks? Now that would be enough to make a naughty little monkey bite its own mother.

Another highlight of the year must be watching Sting live at the SunBet Arena in Pretoria. At least Sting wasn’t asking Roxanne why you angry with me? Mind you, in 2023 if you sing lyrics like Every breath you take, Every move you make, I’ll be watching you, you’ve got more chance of being arrested by the woke police than you have of performing as The Police.

And as for live theatre in Joburg. Wow. What a year. Hansard. Nothing but the Truth. Vincent. The Promise. Thank you to all those hard people who keep live theatre going in Jozi. It just goes to show, if you build it, they will come.

Talking about building it, What about a new Netflix series called a Concoction of Coalitions? Set in a parallel universe on a planet run by hard-working honest politicians who are dedicated to serving the people? Nah! Too outrageous. Capt. Kirk, Abraham Lincoln and Spock fighting Genghis Khan with pointed sticks I can accept, but honest politicians?

Suspense of disbelief can only get you so far.

Maybe rewatching a few episodes of Borgen and a bit of Nordic Noire might prepare us for 6 months without any sunlight or electricity in the runup to the elections in Mzansi. Just listening to some of the early election rantings from the gangsters that run our mafiocracy makes me think that even Spock would raise an eyebrow.

2024? It’s politics Spock. But not politics as we know it.